kindergarten.

So. The day has come. The day I’ve been dreading for five years. The day Ellie’s been head over heels excited about for the last six months. Today was the first day of kindergarten.

We started it off with Ellie’s favorite breakfast – crepes and smoothies.

Then she got ready – which took all morning. Good thing she is in afternoon kindergarten! Here is a girl ready to take on the world.

Oh little-big girl. So beautiful on your first day of one of the Great Adventures of life. I am full to overflowing with pride (look at this person! this being of grace and intelligence and laughter and spirit!) and wonder (how did you get to be so big all of a sudden? you are so beautiful!) and anxiety (are you ready for this? have I prepared you enough? will this school experience be what it should be?), and I wipe a few tears, because what else does a mother have but a heart has expanded wide as the universe, and can’t be contained, and so it flows out her eyes?

And now, having had you almost literally all to myself for these five years, I feel a rush of hope - tinged with, what is that? sorrow? which sounds like the wind through new leaves as I lift and open my arms, and watch you fly…

Alright, so everyone I have looked at or talked to for a week has given me that consolatory look - that mourning-with-gladness look that EVERY SINGLE MOTHER has who has sent a kid to kindergarten. I think you must learn how to give that look as part of the first day’s rites of passage.)

And here - my last view of her as she went into her new class – the beginning of the next 13 years of her life.

As for her?

She climbed into the bike trailer at 3:30 and I said, “How was your day in kindergarten?”

She sat down with a supremely satisfied look on her face, and said, “It was pretty much great.”

Yeah, sweet girl. I knew you’d love it. It’s ME that we need to fix up. :)